Six Years Ago

Dear Sadie,

Six years ago today, I looked down at that tiny sleeping face, and tried to imagine the whole lifetime of things I would need to protect you from. I remember being simultaneously overjoyed and terrified at the prospect of raising this helpless baby. And to think, I really had no idea the amount of joy and pride and love you would bring me, nor did I really understand the levels of irritation, frustration, and hurt I could also feel - for and from you. I don't know how I couldn't have felt the vast emptiness in my life before you filled it...yet somehow, I didn't.

It's been a wild ride, Sadiebug...and I couldn't love you more if I tried. Six years have passed in what feels like a fraction of that time...somehow those long, sleepless nights which I thought would last forever, are such a distant memory that it is almost as though they never happened.

I walked behind you and Abby on the way to school this morning, I looked at you with your enormous (to you) backpack on and listened to you chirp to your best friend about the cupcakes you guys were going to be eating in school in honor of YOUR birthday, and was almost overcome with emotion and the knowledge that as fast as the past six years have gone, the next will fly by even faster.

I think tonight I'll linger just a little longer at bedtime and read you an extra story because unlike six years ago, I am now fully aware of just how fleeting and precious this time is, and how soon it will be gone.

Happy Birthday, Big Girl.