Reflecting

There were a number of times over the past couple of weeks that I thought to sit down and write this post, but it seems as though I was always busy, running somewhere, preparing for company, recovering from a late night...so, my end of the year reflection post will just have to happen in the New Year. Better late than never, I say.

In a way, the past few weeks have really been representative of 2009. I looked back at the goals for the year that I set at this time last year (exercise more and really put an effort into having girlfriends), and I really think I did well on both fronts. I think it is safe to say that I have become a pretty committed gym rat. I make it there 3-4 times a week, and enjoy my time there. A big part of this was the result of me making it a priority, rather than just something I tried to squeeze in around everyone else's schedules. It is nice to just put myself first for something, and I'm thankful for Evan, who easily and happily holds down the fort while I go.

As for making and nurturing friendships - 2009 was a great year, too. I definitely put more effort into tending to the friendships that I've had for years, with plenty of girls night out, couples 'dates' and family get togethers. One of my friends told me that my 'let's get together' spirit inspired her to get out of her cocoon, and it is safe to say that unlike past years, I do feel that we were invited out as much as we hosted and made our own fun, if that makes sense. So that is a good thing. I also made some new friends this year, and while all of them aren't that close comfortable fit that you have with people you've known for years, it has been fun getting to know new people and feeling more a part of the social fabric of the town, if that makes sense. the soccer field, PTA meetings, and school events are now filled with with friendlier faces. Finally, I've posted before about how awesome and friendly our neighborhood is, but something really clicked in 2009 where we no longer feel like the 'new kids on the block' (I guess after four years, we no longer are). We had a lot of fun socializing with neighbors, both casually and formally this year. We are so blessed in so many ways, but mostly by the people that surround us (physically and emotionally).

2009 also was a year of immense growth and change for the girls.

Right before my eyes, Sadie is blossoming into a more social self-confident little girl. This was the year she learned to swim, joined a soccer team, performed in the school variety show. As this new year begins, she is busy learning a new skill (ice skating) and preparing for a repeat performance in the school show next month. She is learning to deal with bullies and all sorts of things that as parents we wish we could protect them from, and doing it with such confidence and finesse that it makes my heart so happy. Her teacher has recommended her for pull-out enrichment, which makes this mama super proud, too.

Eden really transformed from a toddler to such a grown up little preschooler this year. I won't lie - three was not our easiest year with her, but as the year ends and her fourth birthday looms close on the horizon, it does seem as though we have pulled through the worst of it. The traits of hers that have made this year a parenting challenge (stubborness, determination, confidence, ambition) will serve her so well in life, so I have tried my best not to squash them (ha, as if I could). We had a moment this week that I think really sums up where we are in the journey of making it through the terrible three's...she was eating lunch (salami sandwich and a side of applesauce). She had finished half of her sandwich and all of her applesauce. She asked for more applesauce, and I told her she needed to finish her sandwich first. She made her trademark "hmph!" sound that often preceeds a bout of whining and then stopped. She said to me, "I almost had a fit, but then I didn't", and then finished her sandwhich without any drama. This is a turning point! She also continues to amaze me with how bright she is. Since pulling her from daycare at Cindy's house, we have not made any effort to keep up with her reading. I didn't want her to feel pressured, and I had read a compelling article which basically argued that little children only have the opportunity to be little children once in their lives - there is no need to push them to learn/do what they will most certainly learn and do at a later age. This really resonated with me and we completely backed off. Well. Just because we backed off, doesn't meant that Eden has (that whole determination/ambition thing), and she has really continued on her own, attempting to read everything from words in books to the back of the cereal boxes to street signs. Her teacher suggested to Evan and I that we should consider moving her up a level to pre-K (we're not going to, btw...for a few reasons), and again, hard not to feel so very proud of her. I can't even begin to imagine what this next year will bring for her in terms of learning and exploring, but I'm looking forward to watching it unfold.

Finally, this year was good to Evan and his business. While he sometimes laments at how little money he is actually making, we both feel so fortunate that he has found his vocation and gets to actually earn money doing something that he loves. I know his business will only continue to grown, so if this is the lowest point we will be financially, well...it's not such a bad place to be.

I guess that brings me to goals for this next year. Aside from the mundane (finally stop biting my nails) I really want to get our financial picture secure and healthy. We have made great strides in this area in the past year (setting and keeping to a monthly budget), but we have plenty of work still ahead of us. While we have done well sticking to our budget, I would love to have a little more breathing room in said budget - I really don't want to feel one big car or home repair away from disaster. I'd also love to be able to indulge in things from time to time (dinners out, or an excursion into the city with the girls) without having to do all sorts of scrimping and planning and creative budgeting to allow for it. This, of course, depends on our expenses going down and/or our income going up. I've already got some irons in the fire as far as our expenses (and, congrats to me...as of last Tuesday, I just paid my very last student loand payment), but mostly I'm putting my hopes on the latter. The year is off to a good start, with Evan's pipeline starting to fill up already, so I hope the trent continues.

Anyway, it will be fun to check in this time next year and reflect again. I have such a feeling of optimism about this year and sometimes I just think that attitude is half the battle. So, farewell 2009 - you were so good to us, and hello, 2010!

January Musings

Things that have been on my mind recently...

I can't believe that Eden's birthday is next week. Three. Three! Already? How did that happen? It really seems like I was just pregnant with her. And now, she is so big and grown up. Sigh. She's moving to a big girl bed this weekend. It is definitely time - the other day she got angry at me and stormed out of the room and into hers, where she proceeded to use her shoulder weight to lean against the side of the crib and lower the rail, then climb in, pull the rail up and turn her back to me to face the wall. I guess if she is old enough to have melodramatic scenes like that, she deserves a bed to flop on angrily, no? Saying goodbye to her crib is her last vestige of babyhood, too. Well, unless you count her thumbsucking. She's really a big girl now.

In any event, I do feel a bit sad about saying goodbye to the crib. That thing has served us for six and a half years, and it does feel weird to know that when we disassemble it, it won't be to put in storage for another baby.

That's kind of nice segue to my next thought which is hopes/goals for 2009. Of course I have the usual laundry list of things I always hope to accomplish each year, but the biggie, this year, is that I'm really looking forward to cultivating the 'non-mom' part of myself, that I feel has kind of been buried for six years. With the kids being bigger and more independent, and no new ones on the horizon, I finally feel like I can start to have some time and space for myself again. I want to work on my friendships and make them a more central part of my life again, and make having fun sans kids a regular occurrence. MB, Kirsty, and I have committed to a standing GNO, the second Friday of each month, so I think that is a good start. And running, while I still haven't found that groove where I think I love it or anything, does offer me a nice guilt-free hour to myself on any day I choose to do it.

Ooh, another good segue. Running. It is going pretty well, I guess. I got a bit sidetracked at the end of the year, so I am repeating week four this week. I'd love to say that I love it, but I don't. I really, really don't. But, I keep at it. And, I am seeing results, in both my fitness level and my waistline, so it is all good, I suppose.

Final thought for the day: Sadie has signed on to be a part of a team for the school lip sync show. I'm pretty happy that she wanted to do it (being a group activity), but we got the rehearsal schedule yesterday, and .... oy. Lots of shuttling around for the next month or so. Oh well, if those 'soccer moms' can do it, I suppose we can, too.

A Resolution

So, I have a few resolutions that I've made for 2008. I won't go into all of the boring details here, but as you can imagine, they have to do with such exciting topics as my weight/fitness level, the state of my nails, and how often I lose my patience with the kids. But, this weekend, I came to the realization that I want to add just one more resolution to my list, and it has very little do with me. I am resolving to be more proactive about arranging for playdates and opportunities for Sadie to socialize with other kids.

In general, I am really bad about this. In Boston, it was not a problem, because I had a group of friends with kids the same age (actually, this group came together through a new moms group sponsored by the hospital where we all delivered. Regardless, we clicked right away, and got together often long after the official meetings ended). But here, it is harder. Working full-time, I don't have the opportunity to meet SAHMs. And, since Sadie refuses to go to someone else's house without me, it means that I have to make small talk with the parent for a couple of hours while the kids play, or else always host the playdate at our house. Sadie does have one friend where I've gotten very friendly with her mom. But, as much as I enjoy hanging out with her and chatting, unfortunately, Sadie and Olivia don't necessarily play together so well. Someone (usually Olivia) almost always ends up upset or crying. Anyway, as a result, I've been bad about arranging playdates, but that's going to change.

Over the weekend, we ended up having two spontaneous playdates (a former classmate from preK stopped by on Saturday and we invited the neighbor up the street to come over on Sunday). It was good for Sadie to have a peer to play with, and I need to encourage it more. In particular, she plays really well with the neighbor, so that's a friendship I'm particularly keen to encourage. And, when it was time for Amelia to leave, we walked her home. Sadie and she ran ahead (I was doing the 2 year old, 2 mile an hour shuffle with Eden) and Sadie actually went into Amelia's house before I got there (kind of unheard of for her). And, she didn't want to leave. So, I kind of hold out hope that once she gets comfortable with Amelia, she might be willing to go play over there without me sometimes. Our neighborhood is very 'old school' in that there are packs of kids who play together without prearranged 'appointments' and just run freely from one house to another. It is one of my deepest hopes for my shy girl that she finds her way into that crowd and has those kinds of easy friendships.

So. Even though I don't necessarily feel like calling up some random parent that I don't know. Even though I don't feel like spending my precious weekends hosting other kids. And even though I really don't feel like chaperoning playdates at other people's houses...I will. I am going to try to have some sort of get together with another kid at least once a week.