Friday Nights with Eden

Ever since I became a mother of two, I have lamented over how there is never quite enough of me to go around. Someone always seems to have to wait, or share their time. I know this is simply a part of being in a family, and that the benefits of having a sister far outweigh this negative, for both girls. But still. It is frustrating. For all of us, at one time or another.

I've always felt especially bad about what Eden misses out on. I know some parents obsess over how the older sibling has to sacrifice the one-on-one relationship with parents once a second comes along, and of course, I do care about that. But, even more, I think I have always felt that Sadie had 3+ years of having us to herself, and certainly that undiluted relationship had a profound impact on who she has become (for better or for worse, I suppose). And, I've always regretted that Eden could never have that same experience. Sure, she gets one-on-one time with either of us throughout the week, but there is a big difference between time alone with mom or dad and time alone with both mom and dad, if that makes sense.

Anyway, that was a pretty long preamble to say that as Sadie's social life is exploding, a really nice side effect is that Evan and I are getting to spend time as a party of three with Eden. And, it is wonderful - it really does remind me of our time with Sadie before Eden joined us. The past two Friday evenings, we've gone out as a threesome while Sadie was otherwise occupied (side note: when did Friday night become the new birthday party time?). Two weeks ago, we took her to Sawa for sushi - something we probably just would never do with two kids in tow. She loved the experience, and it was obvious, she loved the undivided attention. Last Friday, we were a bit more mundane, and simply took her grocery shopping; again, it was an experience reminiscent of our time with just Sadie. We used to take her grocery shopping all the time - once we had two kids, it just became easier for one of us to go and one to stay home with the kids. Anyway, again, it was just a fun evening - we let her pick out out a few extra treats at the store and then came home and made sundaes.

I'm guessing that these opportunities will continue to increase, at least until Eden hits the age where she'll have plans and then it will be just Evan and me (hard to imagine!). I'm already looking forward to my next Friday Night with Eden (in two weeks) and planning something good.

2+2=more than 4, sometimes.

Due to different wants/interests and obligations, we spent a fair bit of time as duads, rather than a family of four this weekend. Specifically, yesterday we split apart intentionally. Evan took Sadie out to Longstreet Farm to participate in the potato harvest, and Eden and I headed to the beach. I have to say, I think the girls were happier for it. They each seemed to appreciate the one-on-one time with us, and they seemed happier to be with eachother when they were. Every weekend, we make such an effort to have "family" time, and the reality of that is that it ends up being compromise time for one or both of the kids, as they aren't on the same wavelength yet with what they can/want to do.

Evan and I were talking about it this morning and debriefing about it and we decided that we are going to try to do more of that for parts of the weekend. Time together as an entire family is still a priority, so I don't see that going away any time soon, but I think we're going to try to spend part of one of the weekend days split up, alternating which child we have. anyway, that's my random thought for this Monday morning.